![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
deerlybeloved
 |
 If you have standards as low as this guy's, then you just might be a perfect match!* Of course, if nothing Klaus has got going on is a dealbreaker, you already haven't read this far. For the rest of you, maybe you can look past an almost endless string of bad qualities for someone who is willing to do basically any of the kinky stuff. * Not a promise of commitment. |
( Klaus Hargreeves | 30 and/or 31 | mostly male | mostly male )    |
text; un: top price
[ She's not breaking right swiping habits now. ]
what if i want to get into the tight leather pants by just borrowing them
no subject
also i've already established semi publicly that i am being buried in the pants so i hope you're practiced at graverobbing.
no subject
i'm at least a pro on digging up bodies so that's like half way there right
no subject
anyway i'd write a letter but i'm not sure where it would go and don't care enough to find out so i guess i can do that tomorrow or something
no subject
you could just put it in your basket and hope for the best, that's what i do with everything
writing this made me want to be dead, from start to finish
anyway good idea here's my rough draft
To whomsoever it may concern:
Please chill. The pants are just tight enough, thanks. The safe word for us will be pineapple but I will still bite your dick off, on the house.
Sincerley,
"Fourgasm"
i've been laughing about this for a week
take out the "thanks" and it'll stick with the Strongly Worded theme and i think you're golden, fourgasm
no subject
but yeah ok well i already wrote it all down in my fancy fountain pen shit so i guess it's just gonna have a big ass scribble on it now
maybe i can turn it into a
uh
silouette of a
ok yeah now it's flippin the bird at the reader, good.
no subject
perfect, that honestly improves the shit out of it
four for you, klaus